Thursday, August 20, 2015

Blood, sweat, and fear

I've been thinking so many thoughts today! My mind has been swimming in a sea of thinking. It's a little crazy. Of all the thoughts I've had today though, I wanted to share one that really hit me the hardest (in a beautiful way!). In fact, it brought me to tears because it was so powerful. Hopefully it brings you some peace as well.

Ok. As I was adrift on the sea of my thoughts, I wandered into the question of fear. Fear is something that I experience often in my own life. I think it's also fair to say that it's part of the human experience. Fear is something necessary, but only really serves its purpose when it's not running rampant in your life. Anyway.

Fear. I was sitting in the chapel, having a very serious conversation with Jesus about it. I asked Him about His experience of fear. At first, I assumed that, because He's God, He couldn't actually have ever been afraid. Then I remembered His humanity, which means He did have to feel fear at some point in His life. Also, this verse kinda cements it: "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15)

This got me thinking about specific examples in Jesus' life when He could possibly have been afraid. All of a sudden, it hit me.
           Jesus was so afraid(and sorrowful) that he sweated blood. JESUS SWEATED BLOOD! Whoa. His fear and sorrow were so powerful that it caused Him to sweat blood. That means Jesus can totally understand when I'm afraid of something, because He experienced it in the most profound way.

Not only did He have an unbearable amount of fear, He demonstrated the ultimate trust possible by immediately turning to God and declaring "yet, not as I will, but as you will." (Luke 22:42)

This was such a beautiful reminder to me that God is present in my life in every moment, because He understands what I'm feeling. He's able to walk through it with me.
The next time I'm afraid, I can think of Jesus' agony in the garden and be comforted. I can turn, just as He did, and invite God to have control of the situation. Once I've let go and placed it in His hands, He can give me some of His peace which surpasses all understanding.

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